Failing at Edging, continued

In my last story, I wrote about how I, an experienced edger, had a series of slip ups when I orgasmed out of a lack of control. I have been a practicing edger since the age of 14 and considered myself very, very good at it, so you can imagine how disappointed I was in myself. I decided to nip things in the bud as soon as it became obvious that this was turning into a pattern.

First, I had to cast away my smugness about how good at masturbating I thought I was. It's true that I have been doing it since a very young age. Once I hit the onset of puberty and discovered sex self-help books and sex advice columns in women's magazines, I was consciously training myself to have better and better masturbation technique. I was a premature climaxer for a bit during this early period, but the training for orgasm control is very effective if you are diligent about it, which I was. I continued to add new things to my repertoire and discover more and better ways to be sexually active with myself.

Getting myself back on track from a series of failed edges meant starting from scratch and admitting that I had to be humble and re-train myself. I told myself that I was on probation, and there were certain conditions I had to abide by during my probation. I was not allowed to watch porn, I was not allowed to have an extended period of fantasizing before actual masturbation began, and I was not allowed to use either my full-length mirror or my small make-up mirror to watch myself. In short, anything that enhanced my arousal was off-limits while I was on probation.

The actual masturbation also came with restrictions. Even though my usual stroke is already a gentle and slow one, I dialed back on the stoke intensity even more so that it was almost non-existent. I fingered my sweet spot in the lightest of light circles, telling myself that this is what happens when I'm on probation. My clitoris cried out in protest and said that it wasn't fair that it had to be punished like this just because my hand couldn't control itself, but I reminded my clitoris that it was part of the problem.

Unlike typical masturbation sessions, where I can tune out and just enjoy the sensation, every circular rotation on the clitoris was monitored closely. Each time my fingers went around, I reminded them that this was a controlled situation. After I had edged myself to the extent that was acceptable to me, I finished myself off decisively with my finishing stroke. After my orgasm ended, I asked myself to answer honestly whether I had it because I slipped up or if I had it because I made a conscious choice to do so. If it was the latter, I knew that the masturbation session had been a success.

After a few more successes, my probation period was over. I was back to my edge-happy, orgasm delaying self.