Enjoying a cock that's not my own

I'm not sure when exactly I started masturbating, but I was hooked right off the bat. I felt some guilt about it then, thinking that it was somehow wrong. But that never stopped me. It became a regular thing - at least once per day.

A friend of mine, Jeff, and I would talk about girls and sex and enjoyed an occasional 'naughty' magazine together. At that time, it would have been Playboy, and nothing that showed specific anatomy. The furry bushes from those pictures has ever since driven my preference for natural or at least minimally trimmed women.

On a couple of occasions, Jeff and I got naked together, and would have fun being around each other with our small, per-pubescent but very stiff cocks on display. I don't recall ever touching each other, but I do remember that being naked with him was something that I craved. I liked being naked with someone else. It felt exciting and freeing and a bit taboo.

I started growing pubic hair before he did. I recall being outside in the woods by his house and dropping my pants to show him. But around that time, he became more hesitant about our sexual play. And I think it was in 7th grade when he called me a "faggot" in front of some mutual friends. That had a big impact on me and it immediately stopped any cravings for naked play with another male.

But then puberty kicked in and my craving for girls shifted in to high gear. Nothing really happened until my senior year of high school when my girlfriend and I started exploring each other, but that's a story for another time.

Fast forward to now: I'm 63 and married to a wonderful woman (second marriage for both of us) who is very open about her sexuality. I am able to masturbate openly around her, and often times she will join me when I've gotten worked up, and she'll usually want me to fuck her. Sometimes, after I cum, she'll want an orgasm herself. She has a favorite vibrator and after she starts working her clit, I'll lick and kiss her very sensitive nipples. It's rare that she doesn't cum within a minute of the start of the vibrator. (I always take quite some time before I cum - she's the racehorse in that respect!)

She and I got together later in life - me late 50's, her late 40's - and we shared all of our deepest sexual secrets. Among other experiences, I told her what I'm going to relate here, and it felt so good to get it out into the open and not have it be something that I have to keep hidden away.

So towards the end of my first marriage, my wife at that time had really lost interest in sex. I still needed my once-a-day orgasm, and it most often was from secret masturbation. Not being able to be open about masturbation and feeling sexually frustrated became increasingly an issue. Talking about sex with her was always loaded with landmines, and I could never feel comfortable being open. She wasn't interested in my cravings or fantasies, and had no interested in talking about hers. I most often fantasized about women (with nice bushes!), but I was committed to being 'faithful'.

But more and more I found myself getting excited about the idea of being naked together with another man.  And that wouldn't be 'cheating', right? Well, at least that was the story I told myself. After the "faggot" experience at my young age, I had considered myself to be strictly hetero. But getting to know some gay friends, I started to question things - like was it really so 'wrong' to consider sex between men? (After all, I always enjoyed watching porn where two women enjoyed each other!)

So over time, I found the idea of being with another man more and more exciting. To this day, I probably fantasize about women 2/3 of the time, and the remainder is thinking about guys. I'm very comfortable considering myself as bisexual and so is my now wife.

The idea of being with another adult, older man became something that I really craved, and it finally got to the point that I put things in motion. I posted on Craigslist (back in the days when personals were allowed) seeking another man, similar in age who also sought a first-time experience male to male. There were a lot of responses, but mostly from guys who obviously had previous experience. I really wanted to be with someone who, like me, was curious, perhaps tentative. It just felt like it would be a safer way to take the plunge.

There was one guy who lived fairly close to me, and was pretty much the same age. We emailed each other, and expressed our desire to have a mutual jackoff get-together. We made arrangements to meet at a local coffee shop.

I met him there. He was kind of big - more than just barrel chested - a very full barrel - but about the same height and seemed like a nice guy. We had coffee and then agreed that we wanted to go ahead with things. My then wife was out of town, so he followed me in his car as I drove to my place.

We went up to the bedroom. It was obvious we were both a bit uncomfortable and uncertain about what we were going to do. I was the one who broke the ice and said, "Well?" and then started taking off my clothes. He immediately started taking off his, and soon we were lying side by side in bed, looking at each other.

We were both limp. I remember feeling just so nervous. But somehow, we made it clear to each other that more than just jacking off, we wanted to touch each other. His cock looked a lot like mine - circumcised, same overall shape, same color and mushroom head. We each took each other's cock in our hands. It felt so wonderful to feel another penis - the warmth, the texture, the velvety head, his pubic hair.

We both stayed fairly limp - perhaps just semi-erect. It was obvious we were both a bit uncomfortable, but that didn't stop us from moving ahead. At one point, he straddled me and put his cock right on mine, and we both took turns grasping our penises together. (Frotting is now a favorite fantasy of mine.)

We ended up back side by side, stroking each other and getting more comfortable with that. But I somehow knew that I wasn't going to get to an orgasm. I was really enjoying it, and I think if I were to do it again today I'd be more "up" for it. (And now, I'd definitely want some Viagra to help firm things up.) I wanted him to have an orgasm, however, and I could tell that he was probably close.

On the spur of the moment, I got on my knees and crawled down the bed directly over him. I took his cock in my mouth. It felt wonderful and natural and it was incredibly erotic. He was still mostly limp, so I was able to take his whole cock entirely in my mouth. He came within a minute. It wasn't a large ejaculation, but I tasted that kind of bleachy liquid, and swallowed most of it.

He was surprised about the blowjob - that wasn't anything that we had discussed in advance. But he definitely enjoyed it.

We got dressed soon after that and he left. We never got in touch with each other again, though. And I ended up divorced about a year later and then moved away after that.

I think of that experience often, but I'm extremely satisfied with the sexual relationship my wife and I have. She jokes with me about my having a boyfriend come over when she's not around. If I were to do something like that again, I'd definitely be open with her about it, but I'm not seeking it. I have my fantasies though, and 69ing with another guy ranks right up there!

Anyway, I've read so many MM stories here where the writer will say, "But I'm not gay!" I'm very comfortable considering myself as bi. So, IMHO, don't worry about it. If you enjoy your own cock, why not enjoy another one now and then.