Another Day at the Masturbatorium

I arrived at work at 4:30 pm, and met up with Anne, Harry and Suzanne. Harry and Suz are the owners. I'm always in awe of them for having the fortitude to start such a controversial business. I mean, there's no way I would have taken the risk to start such a thing. But then, that's probably why I'm an employee, not an owner of something.

Evidently, after getting a small inheritance ($20,000) four years ago, they talked it over, got a business coach, approached the county for permits, rented a building, had signs painted, and placed advertising.

I have no idea how they managed to get permits. The only thing I can think of is that there is nothing illegal about it. I guess one can get a permit for anything that's legal. Denying a business license or whatever might be unconstitutional.

Suz tells me they came close to losing everything in their first year. Despite their tasteful advertising, the public was shy. They were getting around four or five customers a day, but they needed 20 or more to break even. Their coach made them stick with it, by continually throwing in their faces how grand and deserving their plan really was. He maintained their enthusiasm during the dark days.

Let's fast forward to today. We all set up at 4:30 pm, for our 5:30 opening, every night, seven days a week. We aren't always all here. We rotate around, so there's at least two or three of us. But this, being Friday night, we'll need all four.

My job is to gather all the sheets that are thrown over the chairs, beds, and assorted furniture and dump them in the laundry. Then I take out fresh sheets and drape them over everything. I get to pick tonights playlist. I think I'll put on Irish instrumental music. Yes, that will set the mood nicely.

Anne, who is a slim, long-haired 23-year-old redhead, sets the heat up. It may seem crazy, but we keep the heat at 80 degrees, so people will be comfortable without clothes. In fact, the heat encourages the removal of clothing.

Harry, a fit 44-year-old, sets the video (porn) feeds.

Suz, plump but pretty, 42, sets up the snack bar.

By 5:30, we are all set. The door is unlocked, and people start straggling in. I'm on 'ticket' duty. That means I sit at the counter by the door and take peoples' $7 entrance fees, and for the first-timers I explain that they are required to check in with Suz and Anne, at the 'hat' check room, trading all their clothing for a towel and a wrist band with a number tag. I explain that they must shower before and after using any of the wet facilities - the hot tub, cold soak, and sauna, and that fresh towels are always available. I also tell everyone the rules. There are only two rules: !) They can do anything they want with others as long as the others agree to it, and there is no penetration. This is a masturbatorium, not a brothel, after all. We must maintain that rule so we aren't shut down by the county. The other rule is 'be nice.' I get to determine what that means. I am the enforcer of these rules. I am a rather large individual, tall as well as wide (unfortunately), so I am the bouncer, should it be necessary. Violation can result in anything from a warning to instant expulsion. Seldom is anyone caught doing any sort of penetration. But if it looks like they are going to start, I warn them. In all four years, I only had to throw out one person. The guy was quite drunk, and was pushing his body up against various women without asking, and whispering improper suggestions. I warned him twice, but no, he kept doing it. OK, I grabbed his bag of belongings from Suz in the hat check, grabbed him by the upper arm in my other hand, and shoved him out the door, naked as he was, erection and all. We never saw him again, and I"m glad of it. On my nights off, Harry is the enforcer, but he is such a nice guy, he may have had trouble throwing the fellow out.

So the music is going, the room is warm, people are lounging in front of the porn monitors, idly wanking or rubbing their pussies (we get about 30% female 70% male here), and mostly ignoring each other, or surreptitiously looking at each other. The night is young, and this is typical. Later in the evening, when we have around 80 or 90 people, the ice starts to thaw, and people are mostly in groups, talking, actually showing off their bodies and especially their genitals, and often wanking each other.

Sometimes we have contests, like which woman can squirt the most, which man can squirt the farthest, who can have the most orgasms, who can take the widest dildo, etc. We offer small trinkets as prizes. We don't do this every night. It depends on the mood in the room, and we like to keep it varied.

Sometimes, Harry, Suz, Anne and I get involved. Generally, we wear our dark blue uniforms, but sometimes we get out of uniform and join in the wanking. Tonight was one of those nights. Two women came in who were especially fascinating to me. One had short dark hair, small boobs, and a shaven pussy. She was also very short, like maybe 5'1" and looked more like a girl than a woman, although she was probably actually around 25 or 28 years old. Her friend was a lot like Anne, taller, red-headed, and a bit plump. They were cuddling big time for a while, before the red-haired woman started working a vibrator all over the smaller woman, especially on her butt hole for some reason. I'm rather a butt-hole man, so I couldn't stand it - I had to join in. There were about ten men and two or three women who had formed a circle around this little show, each standing there wanking away. I was one of them. Now, I have learned, as have most of our customers, not to cum right away, so as to preserve the evening to last as long as possible. So, after getting so close to ejaculation that I could feel the contractions, I walked a way, ready for more action later.

As I turned away, a great-looking older guy, probably over 70 years old, with dignified short gray hair, a slim, tall build, touched my arm, and asked whether he had seen just what he saw. I said yes, my dick was bobbing up and down with contractions, but didn't cum. He wanted to know whether I'd teach him that. I love it when older people are still willing to learn new things. I said sure, and had him lay down on a sheet-covered sofa. I sat cross-legged on the floor next to the sofa, and reached out, and ever so lightly stroked his frenulum. He went from totally soft, to totally hard in less than a minute, as I had expected. While explaining how to prevent actual ejaculation while having orgasms, I then stroked him, telling him to warn me when he was getting close.

When he warned me, I stopped, but only for a few seconds, then resumed. This happened perhaps three times. On the fourth, he bubbled over, ejaculating big-time. I told him not to worry, it takes practice, and that I'll be glad to help him practice on his next visit.

I put my uniform back on, and had to warn what appeared to be a married couple about penetration. He had a big erection, was on his knees behind his wife, who was on all fours with her butt up in the air and open, and was placing his finger in her ass. You can well imagine what his next step might have been. Now, putting a finger in an ass is technically penetration, but we don't interrupt people about that. We just don't want people to take it further, putting penises into vaginas or elsewhere. We don't even allow blow jobs. Now personally, I would allow that, but Suz and Harry have a policy, and I support them in whatever they decide.

And they decide well. Four years into this experiment, their business is very successful. Last year they moved from their apartment into a three-bedroom suburban house. Their two teenage children are very happy to have their own rooms. Harry and Suz both have new hybrid cars, of which they are very proud. Their cars have signs on both doors for the Masturbatorium. Guess what? They have done so well, that they decided to give me and Anne bonuses. We too, have Priuses, also with Masturbatorium signs. And we are proud to drive them all over town! When people see my car, it opens conversations like you'd never imagine. People, even strangers, open up and talk frankly about masturbation. Everyone agrees that bringing the concept of masturbation out in the open is a good thing. So far, I have not met a single person who has spoken negatively about the Masturbatorium.

In fact, the police auxiliary and chamber of commerce had a big business owners' party in which they gave out various awards to local busiinesses. They gave an award to Harry and Suz for the Masturbatorium, and what they say it has done for the community. They claim that domestic crimes are down in the city, due to our efforts.

We have voluntarily restricted anyone under age 18, but there has been talk, especially in official circles, that we ought to allow younger people to participate. They say this is likely to reduce sex crimes among teens, STDs and unwanted pregnancies. I'm sure it's true, but I can imagine that there may be some people who would be quite concerned about youngsters floating around inside the Masturbatorium. Well, I guess we'll find out some day.

Oh, oh, there's a group in the hot top that is starting to splash around too much. I've got to tell them to mellow out, so as not to soak the nearby carpet. It's going to be a long, but fun evening.

A little later on, I witnessed a common scene, which I love to see: Two co-workers bumped into each other in the Masturbatorium. What a momentarily shocking, but wonderful surprise it is to discover someone who you'd never expect here! The people who bump into friends, relatives and neighbors are always delighted after getting over the initial shock.

We close at 1am. As soon as everyone is out, Harry, Suz, Anne and I will probably take off our uniforms, and have a soak ourselves in the hot tub, as we usually do, probably all masturbating each other to wonderful orgasms before we head home.