Masturbating with fruit and veg

 

Over the years I've been into this a few times usually when my wife has been away and I've had time to experiment.  First time was when I was a teenager though and would have stuck my cock in anything! I think I tried an apple because it was handy but it was far too hard of course.



Fruits and vegetables are the usual and they are cheap and disposable after you've had your wicked way with them. I've never liked the idea of washing out a fleshlight. 

I haven't done this for a couple of years but as I write I've been wearing my current favourite a hollowed out cucumber for a couple of hours. You have to get a big fat one so that there's enough wall thickness left to withstand a good pounding and it takes a while to get it to the right size but it's well worth it. It needs a hole in the end to let the air out or you can cut the end off altogether so that your glans sticks out at the end of every stroke. This one is really warm and tight and slippery now. It doesn't really need any extra lubrication but the precum doesn't do any harm. :-)

I've also enjoyed melon and papaya over the years and have experimented with more things than I can remember - but I'll try. 

Aubergine - a bit hard at first

Orange - too acidic

Beef tomato - not big enough for my whole cock but interesting on the glans

Lettuce - a bit rough

Marrow - nice once you get going

Melon - I must have tried them all and some can be a bit acidic but a good one is great, watch out for the seeds though!

Outwith fruit and veg I've tried bread. I used a baguette with olive oil but I chatted and swapped pics with a guy a few years ago who liked a supermarket white loaf with a little hot water. 

When we spoke again a bit later I said I was planning another session and when I asked if there was anything he particularly wanted to see he suggested a pot noodle. Always willing to oblige I used a king pot and most of the noodles from two pots to fill it up. Then made a hole in a few layers of cling film stretched over the top - and very nice it was too although I was a bit impatient for it to cool sufficiently - ouch!



Which leads on to putting stuff in a jar. Part-cooked pasta is good and so is lining the jar with a couple of bananas sliced lengthways or anything else you can think of. Bukowski wrote that the best fuck he ever had was half a pound of ground beef and two beaten eggs in a narrow-necked vase but he may have been exaggerating. :-)



This cucumber is really great now. Got some oil in it so it's super smooth and supple. Been working my cock in it for 4 or 5 hours so far and it just feels fantastic. Big long slow strokes pulling it right off and pushing all the way on again; really short fast ones with my cock all the way in and my glans poking out of the end. Going to be good when I finally explode. 



There's loads of other stuff to try too but give the cucumber a go if nothing else. I'd love to hear from others with an interest in food fun. I've got lots of pics and vids and will create a new photo album soon. 

Author:Steelydon | Category: Masturbation Male Techniques

The ground beef and eggs sounds interesting. Although, I think it might be better if you actually make a meatloaf. While it's still warm, definitely not fresh out of the oven,wrap it in plastic wrap so it doesn't crumble apart, dig a hole in it deep enough for the length of your cock and slightly smaller than the diameter. This is to help facilitate pressure and friction. Then, poor one raw egg white into the hole and start fucking away.

A long time ago, mother had a thawed pork roast in the fridge waiting to be cooked for dinner that evening. I was home alone and horny as usual. I decided to see if raw meat might feel like a vagina. I cut a deep slit in the end of the roast, slid my hard cock in and fucked it like it was a pussy until I squirted a huge load of cum inside it. I put it back in the 'fridge like nothing happened and made sure that my "homemade pussy" wasn't noticeable. Later, my mother cooked it and served it for dinner. Nobody could understand why I had a grin on my face the whole way through dinner!!!

Cucumber is awesome!

On a trip in another country I once went to the supermarket to buy 1 cucumber. The female clerk didn't show any reaction, but what does one think when you buy one cucumber and not even anything else to "blend it in"?

So, I'm not the only one? Cucumbers feel great, but it's hard to find one large enough. For me, cantaloupe have worked the best. Make sure you make a small hole on the other side or there will be too much suction when you try to withdraw.