Not gay

[mash2014]

Why is it that when guys admit getting turned on by a cock or another man they always make sure the reader knows he isn’t gay?
I think that's judging too quickly. Men throughout history have had homosexual encounters with other men, but it's been stigmatized as something wrong in the last few centuries.
I read some time ago a study done that most men's first sexual encounter was with another man; touching or masturbating or even having full-blown sex. From what I have read in this forum, most of us are not the exception. Some of us get excited seeing or reading about another mas penis or fantasize about blowing another man. There's nothing wrong with it but why do some want to make sure they aren't gay?

[effinjeff1965]

I can't speak for anyone else, including the guys who are attracted to men/dick but who say they aren't gay, but my impressions are that some people see being gay as a lifestyle and they may be attracted to men, but don't connect with their idea of what being gay means: dancing on speakers at a club and going to brunch with other gay men, going to drag shows, etc. They may identify with what they think are more traditional roles: dad, head of household, bro. And that's who they are and where they feel comfortable. They just also find masculine "bonding" intoxicating. But they couldn't see themselves being in a relationship with another man, as in dating them and setting up a household together.

And I'm sure that's not everyone's story, so anyone else weigh in. I'm interested in the subject too, and I'm open to and respect how anyone feels about sex and attraction and labels. I'm just trying to help keep the conversation going. I'm no expert, so please be kind if disagree with me or think I'm full of shit.

[laboka]

A lot of guys are openly gay, but that doesn't mean you should try.

[lexington]

I think the first experience with another male could be true, but only because when young we never did enjoy girls company. I can still look at another cock picture and decide it looks good, bad or average, but I never even think of touching it.

[llugguss]

People did not recognize the existence of gays for a long time, but throughout history, there have been men who liked men too. I am glad that today anyone can say they are gay, and no one will judge them for it. I hope that soon all people will understand that it is normal. I didn't know I was gay for a long time, but I noticed that gay porn made my dick horny one day. Then I was looking at pictures here https://www.dickhardon.com/ and realized I was gay. My parents said I was a brave man because I told everyone about it.

[wonderdick]

There was such stigma around being gay for such a long time that curiosity about or arousal by other men had to be compartmentalized in an “experiments” box for a guy to maintain his self-image as heterosexual.

For myself, one of my first sexual experiences in early 1980’s, other than an unsuccessful attempt to have sex with a girl who invited me (thankfully, in retrospect, could have been trouble) was with a male friend, who, after we had made a pyramid of our empty beer cans, proposed we try anal sex, with me on the bottom. I was game, and we tried, But I was i think fearful of what it would “mean” about my sexuality so I couldn’t relax enough for him to enter me. After that I was full of wondering if trying that meant I was gay. I later decided I was something equivalent to bi-curious.

[chestnutoak]

I have read there is a difference in being gay and homosexual erotica. Gay is homosexual loving, kissing, attraction, lovemaking; where homosexual erotica is none of the above, but erotic fondling, maybe oral, but not much else from the list above. I see on this site, all in or just wanting to play and no desire otherwise. Its complicated.

[ruthborn]

It probably started way back when gays were burnt at the stake alongside witches and devil worshippers (“fag” means “burning stick”). It became a survival mechanism to insist that you are not gay. That reaction seems to have become ingrained in our culture now. Where being gay is leaving yourself open to prejudice and descrmination.

[Sean1969]

I hate getting assumed I am gay because i shave my cock and balls.

I am heterosexual and love my ladies. Just feels better for me and her!

[jlindsey]

I have what I think is a cumshot fetish. I have never felt interested in seeing a guy naked but would always prefer a cock sticking out of his zipper or in a glory hole arangement. The only male bodies I don't feel an aversion to would be a thinner, smoother, hairless guy. But that's not an aversion to vs an attraction towards. That being said watching a guy cum is hot and even the idea of jerking or maybe even oral seems erotic. But cuddling or ass or anything more than mentioned above would not be stimulating to me.

[rathb69]

Before I knew anything about anything, I had a few experiences as a boy/tween with a close friend touching our penises together and later I grabbed/squeezed his dick through his clothes a few times. Later, as a young teen I fondled a friend's erect penis (with two other boys watching). I acted out of curiosity in the moment and for the most part didn't plan to do these things (although a few times I started the "let's pretend we are making out with a girl" game that I knew might lead to me touching my friend's dick through his clothes).

As I said, I didn't even know enough about sex to think of what I was doing as gay or otherwise. After these few encounters, I moved on to focus on girls like most other horny/curious teen boys.

To make a longer story short, as I have matured I have wanted to expand my horizons a bit after talking with female friends who had same-sex experiences (or fantasies). We found that sharing our fantasies really spiced things up. I wanted to be open minded and try new things, so with the encouragement of one of these friends, I had my first mutual masturbation/jack off experience with another man which I happily shared with her.

Due to a number of factors, such as it took place in an erotically charged ABS, I had just engaged in mutual cock play with a man for the first time, I was openly jacking off for an anonymous stranger while he watched, I had one of my most mind blowing orgasms with another person male or female. That's how it started (and how I began writing about the experiences which I have posted on ST) and a big part of why I continue to look for opportunities to touch/fondle other men's cocks and masturbate with only other men present. When alone, I fantasize about doing all sorts of things with men, but when I actually have the opportunity I think my boundary is set at mutual cock play, jacking off while men watch, and jacking off while I watch other men. I want to experience sucking cock and tasting another man's semen, but I'm not there yet ...

Now I like to masturbate to male-male focused porn (I love seeing cocks and cumshots whether its from men having sex with women, blowjobs/handjobs from other men, or from men jacking off), and going to places where I might jack off around other men or engage in mutual touching/fondling. I enjoy it because its different, maybe taboo/pervy, but super exciting in the moment. No doubt the moment I touched another man's penis some people would say I was gay, but I just want to push my personal boundaries a little and have some kinky fun.

[mash2014]

When I was around 8-9 I had a sexual experience with a 13-year-old girl. I knew what was happening but I didn't understand much of it. I remember entering her but I felt nothing.
Fast forward some 7 years and I went to a friend's house. We drank and we had sex in the sense we did a 69 and came into each others mouth. I was so drunk, it all is a blur. I started doubting my masculinity. So I started fucking any and all girls that walked in front of me. I felt I had to prove myself that I wasn't gay. Then, mid-20s, under the influence of drugs and alcohol I had another male-to-male blow job session. This time I didn't feel guilty but I knew it had been with the wrong person. Later in life, I met a young man, about 25ish while I was in my mid to late 30s and I fell for him. Nothing ever happened but I felt a very strong sense of attraction and arousal when I was near him. He was a very attractive man and I fantasized about having an affair with him to the point I would be willing to go all the way with him. For me, it was an opening to my true sexuality. I started to look more at certain men I would find somewhat attractive. Shortly after I saw a picture of a cock. It was beautiful. Hard, cut and ejaculating.
My masturbation sessions are now mixed with men and women. They still are.
I don't consider myself gay or bi. I consider I can find a man attractive to the point I can fantasize about him.
When I joined ST I realized I wasn't alone. A lot of men felt the same way I was feeling.
I'm not afraid or embarrassed to masturbate thinking of men or women. My fantasies are mine and I will let them have a life of their own when I masturbate.

[lexington]

I'm not gay, or even curious. But I find it interesting that so many men obviously are.

[jschwa]

Why is it that when guys admit getting turned on by a cock or another man they always make sure the reader knows he isn’t gay?
I think that's judging too quickly. Men throughout history have had homosexual encounters with other men, but it's been stigmatized as something wrong in the last few centuries.
I read some time ago a study done that most men's first sexual encounter was with another man; touching or masturbating or even having full-blown sex. From what I have read in this forum, most of us are not the exception. Some of us get excited seeing or reading about another mas penis or fantasize about blowing another man. There's nothing wrong with it but why do some want to make sure they aren't gay?

Did you know that the ancient Greeks approved of M/M relationships and didn't even have a word for homosexuality? Everything was just sexuality whether it was M/M, M/F or F/F. I gave up on labeling and "pigeon holing" people a long time ago. I don't care what type of sex or lifestyle that you're into as long as you don't try an force it on me. Maybe that's because I came to the realization that people will do a lot of things in the heat of extreme arousal and passion that they wouldn't even consider under normal circumstance. I've noticed during some of my masturbation sessions that when I near orgasm that I want to bend over, shove my cock in my mouth and suck my own cock until I cum in my mouth. Well I know I can't do that so the next best thing would be to have another cock available to shove in my mouth to suck while the other guy finishes me off with his hand or mouth. I've considered this numerous times, but have yet to follow through with it.

[blackboxer500]

I believe one of the underlying issues is that sexuality is much more nuanced than are the labels and categories we use. Also, emotions are both tied to sexuality and independent of it. For example, I could never fall in love with another man but have fallen in love with numerous women, and am completely in love with my wife. The love I have for her greatly enhances the sex. However I also like cocks, especially hard ejaculating ones. I like to hold them, rub them, suck them. I like guys to do the same to me. I would happily do this without ever seeing the dude’s face, and have no desire to cuddle with a guy, kiss him, or gaze into his eyes. But I love cuddling and kissing and gazing at girls.

I am a girl watcher, and size up probably 80% of women I see for sexual compatibility. I’m not making moves to fuck them, just fantasizing about being in bed with them and whether I would enjoy it. I love women in tight pants, short skirts, plunging necklines, bikinis, fully nude, partially nude, any way at all. I might notice an extremely, extraordinarily handsome man but my first thought is never about getting him in bed.

So how am I to be categorized? Many would say I’m bisexual, but that connotes a similarity in how I view men and women, and as described above I don’t view them similarly at all. My wife says — based on her following and reading Dan Savage — that I’m bisexual and hetero-amorous. That’s more accurate than any other description I’ve ever heard, but it still seems lacking somehow. With me, sex with a woman feeds and is fed by my emotional attachment to her, with guys emotions seem to play no role whatsoever.

Another component to this “I like me some dick but I’m not gay!” phenomenon is that for most people their sexuality is an integral part of their identity. They want to be identified accurately. All the progress that has been made in mainstreaming the LGBT community now has given rise to extreme backlash. Historically men went to great lengths to appear straight because gay was reviled and ridiculed and even sinful. When I was growing up in the 1960s and 70s, calling someone queer was considered fighting words. All gay men were on the down low. If you were openly gay you were expected to move to San Francisco or other “liberal enclave” and never look back. This has been slow to change and it’s easy to find strong hostility towards gay people to this very day, especially outside of large urban areas.

All this adds up to an aversion by many men to be considered gay. I have a friend who is very politically liberal, highly intelligent (usually the smartest guy in the room), an accepting and tolerant man who strongly supports the LGBT community. He has gay friends and family members who he vocally supports. He has a strong personality and is very self confident. He celebrates gay weddings the same as straight weddings. He’s married to a great woman. Although I believe most people are on one or more continuums regarding sexuality, this guy is as close to 100% straight as they come. As liberal and accepting as he is, even he has a strong reaction if there’s ever any suggestion he might like guys. His hetero masculinity is so strong that he cannot tolerate the idea that anyone might think him gay. Not that this ever happens because there’s no hint of gayness in him.

[hairybi]

One thing that Kinsey got right in his Sexual Behavior of the Human Male is that sexuality is a continuum, on a scale, where some men are exclusively homosexual, and others exclusively heterosexual, and others of us fall somewhere along the scale. Also, I believe based on experiences, a person can slide along the scale in different directions throughout their lives. For example, there are some of us on here that never contemplated doing anything with a man until much later in life, and others who experimented with boys very early, like myself. Also, as masturbators, I think it is normal where we love our cocks so much to become curious about other cocks. I believe the porn we use doesn't necessarily indicate where we are on the scale.

I think the word "gay" can also mean more than sexual attraction but can also mean a lifestyle choice. Words are difficult to describe us as unique individuals. I may be bi, I may be gay, but I'm just a guy with my own thoughts and needs.

[jschwa]

Why is it that when guys admit getting turned on by a cock or another man they always make sure the reader knows he isn’t gay?
I think that's judging too quickly. Men throughout history have had homosexual encounters with other men, but it's been stigmatized as something wrong in the last few centuries.
I read some time ago a study done that most men's first sexual encounter was with another man; touching or masturbating or even having full-blown sex. From what I have read in this forum, most of us are not the exception. Some of us get excited seeing or reading about another mas penis or fantasize about blowing another man. There's nothing wrong with it but why do some want to make sure they aren't gay?

The ancient Greeks approved of M/M relationship and didn't even have a word for homosexuality. Everything was considered sexuality, whether M/M, M/F, F/F or any combination. They didn't judge people for who they loved or had sex with. I'm not sure, but this probably changed with the inception of the "one god" theology. That being said, my ideology has always been "if it feels good do it. As long as you don't try and force your ideology on me". Love who you choose, fuck who you choose and I won't judge you for it as long as you don't judge me for what I do!!!

[iamnaked]

I am NOT gay,
I hate that word, fucking Labels.
I’m a pussy getting wild wolf that’s also a Cock Sucker !

Put that in yer pipe and suck on it !
Zah !